Im trying to get help, but i need help getting it?

I have been depressed on and off since i was 11, im 19 now. I've been suicidal and still am a cutter, but lately its gotten out of control. I get really depressed for no reason and every tiny thing that doesnt go according to plan causes me to freak out in rage. example: earlier my boyfriend asked me what i wanted for dinner and i just started yelling at him. today i spoke with a counselor at my college i left out the parts about being suicidal and lied when she asked me if i cut, anyways she gave me some information on cheap insurance but it doesnt cover mental health. I'm currently uninsured and have been trying to find a plan that i can afford that also covers mental health, so i can get some kind of anti depressant and quit feeling like this all the time. thing is i know absolutely nothing about insurance. I cant get it from my work either because they keep us 1 hour under full time so we dont get benefits. im 19, female, have smoked in the last 12 months, a full time student, not pregnant, and can afford anything under $100 a month